Priest jokes

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport

Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy

How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest? With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

What’s the difference between a priest and target? Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’