A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
There are Three Sons Journey Korean and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island and a priest gave them each one wish the first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.
What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
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