A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest
“There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!”
The priest shakes his head
“Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
“Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off
One day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says “who has seen a cock” all the woman raised their hands “no who has seen a cock that is not theirs” half the woman’s htm title=' my cock” all the nuns hands went up'>hands went up “NO NO NO who has seen my cock” all the nuns hands went up
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f… altar boys
Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common?
— they both start at 12.
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