There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage? “Let us prey together.”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
What is a priests favorite song? – Magic flute in A minor
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
RUS | ENG
