Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? - Because they can’t run.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest “There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!” The priest shakes his head “Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum. ‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first. ‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second. And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’ A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son, ‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’ To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’ To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common? They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”. I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
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