Priest jokes

What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he’s an alter boy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!” A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar… He orders a drink.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”? A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you get a nun pregnant? – Dress her up as an alter boy.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024