Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father in law
What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common? Little boys pants half off.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids? To tie his kangaroo down sport
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children. ” Johnny says, “You should wear your f@ckin’ trousers backwards.”
What’s a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds? They are all locked in the Priest’s basement.
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already! A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
How come I have a father but not a dad? He was a priest.
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.
What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers
what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”
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