One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens!!!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off
My uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor
The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife”
Priest, “how so?”
Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all”
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again”
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!”
Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”
Why is that kid walking like that? , Oh, he’s an alter boy
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What do priest and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest
“There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!”
The priest shakes his head
“Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!” He says
“Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
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