Puns jokes

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a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

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I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.

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My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

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The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.

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Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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