Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
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