I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
RUS | ENG
