Puns jokes

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

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I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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