The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
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