Puns jokes

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did

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Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.

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