Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
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