Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
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