If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
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