Puns jokes

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024