Puns jokes

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did

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If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

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how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

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How do trees get online? – They just log in.

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I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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