Puns jokes

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did

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Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

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When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

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Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

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Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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