Puns jokes

I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it

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I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

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The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

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Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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