RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
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