The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
RUS | ENG
