When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
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