Puns jokes

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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How do trees get online? – They just log in.

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Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

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a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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