I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
RUS | ENG
