Puns jokes

What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

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