Puns jokes

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.

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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

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