Puns jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

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Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.

Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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