My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
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