My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
RUS | ENG
