If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
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