You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
RUS | ENG
