I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
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