I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
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