The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
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