My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
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