What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
RUS | ENG
