Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
RUS | ENG
