There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut ?? Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they?d crack each other up Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
Why is the sea salty because it is always blue??(?’?’?)
If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay Bagels
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
i tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature which would he be? A: Adlof-in What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob? Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond? Because the pond was to shallow
Me: That’s a good WAVE Friend: I SEA it Wave: Doesn’t break for us to surf on Me: I was SHORE it would be good Friend: I SEA what you did there
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