Sea jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

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Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?

Because she can’t hear the sea.

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Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

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Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed!!

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I tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach

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A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me

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Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn’t wave back???

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Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was to shallow

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What sea creature can add up? A octoplus

Why was the kids report card all wet?

Because it was below “sea” level

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