Sea jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?

Because she can’t hear the sea.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What did the beach say when the tide came in?

Long though sea.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn’t wave back???

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What did the the sea do when it seen the beach

It waved

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

I SEA him!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call under water maid A mermaid

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin Sea.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do oysters call their friends?

On shell phones!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was to shallow

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What sea creature can add up? A octoplus

Why was the kids report card all wet?

Because it was below “sea” level

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024