I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
What was the drug addict’s favorite nursery rhyme? I’m a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. what do you call a retard smoking weed? a baked potato
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the f@cking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!” The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”
what was the last thing that went through PH’s head? water and smoke
What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back
Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.
what do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed? a baked potato
Do the French people smoke weed or oui’d? I have a friend who recently stoped smoking and the withdraw was hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend. I see a dreamer over there by the water!
RUS | ENG
