What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs. What goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!
What goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up f@ck.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Why can’t Stephen hawking go to heaven cause he walk up the stairs
I love stairs. They always bring me up
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog f@cking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”.
Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”.
So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza!?”
The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME” The sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
The sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
I don’t trust stairs because there allwaysup to something
Why was it wong to throw my chinese friend down the stairs
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !! What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs
What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs
Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire… the top of the stairs
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
RUS | ENG
