Straight jokes

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult?as?it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in?30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start. Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one

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I bought a rainbow gun but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight

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whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.

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if gay means happy then i am now straight A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

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========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

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I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised *(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

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people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

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I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s

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I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

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A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why? Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

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NWA: Straight Outta Compton Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter

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Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole

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A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

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The only thing I do straight is vodka

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