Straight jokes

im hertophobic- aka im allergic to all straight guys

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A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why? Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

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My brother caught Covid last month. First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe !’ I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’

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We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol

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My mom said that being straight is good but if your straight how do you walk so i decided to be gay

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Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole

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Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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isn’t it strange that the LGTBQ flag only has straight lines?

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Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole

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========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

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what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.

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Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

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Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

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