Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”
I’m so gay I could barely think straight.
me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.
The only thing I do straight is vodka
My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s
why cant gay people have hair lines? because its not straight.
isn’t it strange that the LGTBQ flag only has straight lines?
Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s
A gay guy asked me for directions so I told him to go straight
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