everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers feminist: correct everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!! Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho
you when you face the boss the first time: :) you when dark souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :( you when you ask why do you hear boss music: <( you when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit: . .
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called straight out of windshield.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they’ve got a supreme ruler
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.
How do you find out if your kid is gay? Lock him in a closet and if he comes out his gay if not his dead straight.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
You’re so ugly you make Gay/Lesbian people straight
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