Straight jokes

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

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In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.

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Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

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My friend said to me that I am gay my response I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night

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Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line? Answer: The cancer ward How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well… For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine

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I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised *(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

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========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

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Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.

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If you gay then wtf u doin tryna walk straight

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whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.

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Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why? Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”

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Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight? Sally’s used to being blind!

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