A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot.
Student: which end?
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class: raises hand Teacher: … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
Teacher:what does a pig give you Little Johnny:Bacon Teacher:good,what does the sheep give you Little Johnny:Wool Teacher:What does the fat cow give you Little Johnny: homework and says leave motherf*cker
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent!
Orphan: -no response-
Teacher: what’s your favorite animal
Me: Desert Eagle
Teacher:why?
Me:cause it fits in my backpack
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
In English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later. (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW.
%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book
The fat kid asked the teacher “is godzilla real” the teacher said “they’re standing right infront of me”
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him???
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p? " “running down my leg”
RUS | ENG
