Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you Students: Eggs Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you Kids: Bacon Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you Kids: Homework
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word. So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit” The principles office smells nice
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Little johnnys teacher asks him “Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?” little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
What the type of teacher who doesn’t fart in public? A Private Tutor/Tooter
do u guys know how to make a hoe in minecraft? you pick it up off the street.
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program htm title=' so I threw my dictionary at her. ’'>and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once. Student: OOFT Teacher: Who are we missing? Student: Your parents
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?” Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven” Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart” Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!” The teacher says, “how do you know this?” Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don’t know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
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