Teacher jokes

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once. Student: OOFT Teacher: Who are we missing? Student: Your parents

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teacher: "you know you can’t sleep in my class" boy: " I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could

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Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

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New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: OOF Teacher: Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents

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My teacher told me, “You have no idea how powerful this quote is.” I looked at her and told her, “You don’t know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is.”

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Little johnnys teacher asks him “Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?” little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

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My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”

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Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

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Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly: “And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”

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A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late? ..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

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