Transport jokes

What do need in order to crash a train? A bad track record

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Chuck Norris trained dude perfect how to do it

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How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.

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i like trains train hits him

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Why do Orphans ride the bus because they have no parents to drop them off.

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A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where saint Peter greets them hello sisters welcome to heaven before you enter I must ask you all a question he asks the first nun have you ever touched a penis well she said just once with the tip of my little finger ok dip it in the holy water and you can enter he repeats the question to the second nun well she says I might of held one once ok says st Peter wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter just then there’s a commotion down the line one nun is trying to push in front of another st Peter says sister Susan there is no rush you will get in that’s fine she replys but if I have htm title=' before sister Mary sticks her arse in it.'>to gargle that stuff I want to get in before sister Mary sticks her arse in it.

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The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

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My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone? Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

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A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

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What do you call a train that likes toffee? A chew-chew train

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What is yellow and can’t swim A school bus full of children

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Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

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Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus

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(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn’t matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!

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