Transport jokes

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun

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Q: why did Sally drop her ice cream? A: she go hit by a bus.

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whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

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I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”

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What does the difference between your new teacher and a train? Your teacher says spit out your gum but a train says Choo Choo!

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What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

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The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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