The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What is yellow and does not float well? A School Bus
Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone? Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherf@ckers get off here, and you motherf@ckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives.
Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond? ” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn’t strong enough to lift either of them.
What is yellow and can’t swim A school bus full of children
What’s Yellow and Can’t Swim? A school bus full of kids drowning
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school? Don’t ask me, i just fly the drone.
Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have have enough badges to train me”
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school? He mist.
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