Transport jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherfckers who want to get off get off and all you motherfckers who want to get on get on his mother here’s him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherfckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherfckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is yellow and can’t swim A school bus full of children

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what do you call a train with buble gum? a chew chew train oh man im depressed

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025