Transport jokes

What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!

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Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherf@ckers get off here, and you motherf@ckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”

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The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

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Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

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I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital. The wheels on the bus go round and round!

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd. ” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

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