Transport jokes

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE????

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I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a bus.

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Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track

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What do you call a train that likes toffee? A chew-chew train

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timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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Whats yellow and cant swim but screams when it goes under. A school bus full of kids

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what do you call a train with buble gum? a chew chew train oh man im depressed

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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%% %%A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, “I’ll have a gallon of ale.” “A gallon?” the barkeeper asks. “Yes,” replies the train, “I always end up chugging it.”

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Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school? Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

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What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

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I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital. The wheels on the bus go round and round!

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