Transport jokes

Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down? Because it has a tender behind.

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I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

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Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

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You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”

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I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

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Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”

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To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

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What’s big and yellow and can’t swim, a bus filled with children

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what do you call a train with buble gum? a chew chew train oh man im depressed

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Ur momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her bc they thought they missed the bus.

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