Transport jokes

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum? A chew chew train!

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Why was the train late? It kept getting side-tracked.

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I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”

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Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherfckers who want to get off get off and all you motherfckers who want to get on get on his mother here’s him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherfckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherfckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

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To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

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Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus

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Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i’m forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that’s right

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East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond but Richmond is better why

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why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics? :because their train at the best school Are you a train? because I want you to run over me : )

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What’s the different’s a girlfriend and a train the train will touch me

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus

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I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!

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An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone He got ran over by a bus

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