If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Did you know the f in orphan stands for family…oh wait HAHA
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents…oh continue
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come.
Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy’kyira: SAME!!! What does it sound like a woman suffering??? Daina: I know, right?
Daina: I know, right?
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”
She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”
The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”
The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”
“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack? ” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
Why Didnt The Skeleton Go To Prom?
He Was Dead. You Fool. You Fell For My Trick. Im Very Heartless-
Oh Wait
YOU FOOL-
Friend: Want to play fall guys?
Friend 2: Yup
Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?
Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off
Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits the blow up
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.”
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?”
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.”
The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…” “Wait, wha…” “What?”
“Wait, wha…”
“What?”
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young:))
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his
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