Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing) Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: “Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.”
guys this has to stop lets tell there parents oh wait
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