Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways; What is the difference between a priest and a zit? ?? The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face ??
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and htm title=' wait what I thought she was on pill'>tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich.Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
RUS | ENG