what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
did you know the f in orphan stands for family…oh wait HAHA we should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents…oh continue
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come. Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is. Sy’kyira: SAME !!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ??? Daina: I know, right?
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
yo mama so fat , when she ran… oh wait nevermind
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. …just kidding- none. They can’t change anything.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
RUS | ENG
