guys this has to stop lets tell there parents oh wait
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds. After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?” The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!” The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?” “Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again. The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly. “What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask. “I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies. “Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again. “I was on top!” All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears. “Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep? Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
RUS | ENG