My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU… “You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers feminist: correct everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
But she hasn’t tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn’t know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says “Bitch if you think I’ll be lying here for 67 more of those, you’re f@cking crazy.”
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
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