What do you do when you see a sad orphan? Nothing let them wait for their parents.
Stephen hawking walks into a bar… oh wait.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia- oh wait no! That’s d!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds. After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?” The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!” The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?” “Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again. The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly. “What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask. “I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies. “Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again. “I was on top!” All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears. “Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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