Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: “Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.”
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
Stephen hawking walks into a bar… oh wait.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!
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