My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. …just kidding- none. They can’t change anything.
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
Stephen hawking walks into a bar… oh wait.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: “Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.”
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
So Little Johnny’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says “teacher, I’ll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is.” She replies, “okay, meet me after class and we’ll settle it.” But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. “Blue.” “Nope. You got it wrong,” she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn’t wearing any underwear. “Well come with me out to my dads car, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get you the money.” She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: “That mother f@cker! He bet me $100 this morning that he’d see your pussy before the end of the day!”
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