My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny.
Moist of the time.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
Billy: spits out food
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: looks at mom
Mom: Shut up
If you get you get it
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don’t have balls.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me
You need a shovel to find her…
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