its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’ The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their teams bench. After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?” She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
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