Woman jokes

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: your both!

Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, “did you see that?” She says “yes”, so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks “did you see that?” “No but my wife did!” The husband said.

What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man replied, “Yes sir, I did.”

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank? ”

The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again

Wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

My wife is like a mirror

I can never look at it

My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”