I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D
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