Woman jokes

I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb

You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman

What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman

They’re both accidents

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My girlfriend is like treasure to me

You need a shovel to find her…

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I have a girlfriend.

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Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because They don’t need permission from their Parents

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Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

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Why is there no woman on the moon?

Because it doesnt need to be cleaned

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A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”

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Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?

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After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

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The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

The doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up?

Because she Wang the Wong number

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