I cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
I have a girlfriend.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up?
Because she Wang the Wong number
Most states:
“It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.”
Alabama:
“She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
RUS | ENG
