I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
A programmer and his wife. She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.” After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread. The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”
What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me. I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Flippity floppity women are property
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
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